Sunday, February 1, 2009

Sunday

Well, it's been a rough go lately. I am totaly off track, and I've been eating for all of the wrong reasons. I have been super stressed, and I think my depression is back full force. I tried to battle it on my own but I can't. I am back on meds and I will try taking them at night so that I am not zombie like, hopefully. I have always wanted to be a mom, and it's killing me that I can not be the mom that I had pictured in my head. Kind, caring and patient. I show arianna so much love during the day but I feel like I am lacking in patience.

I am working on correcting the things in my life that need fixing, and being the best person that I can be. I need to lose this weight for me and for Arianna.

I always binge when I am feeling like this, and I had planned on buying some cake or pastry at the gas station today, and eating it in the car on the way home without anyone knowing. when I was in there, I looked at all of the muffins and carrot cake and squares and I left with none. I am proud of myself for that small victory, and I hope in the days to come there are many more.

I am back on track tomorrow.

2 comments:

mother of 5 said...

I hope you are doing better.
Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and patience a hard virtue to build. Don't look back at the things you can't change but look to what you can do new in the moment!

I have struggled in my life with binge eating and hiding it from my husband, I found that if I 'confessed' it to him then that helped. Is their someone you can 'confess' to?

Jenny said...

Thanks, this makes me feel better. I can confess to my husband as well, in fact I did last night, and it felt good to get it out there :)