Short week

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Thank God that this is a short week, I am really enjoying being back at work, but we are all sick, and I am really stressed over the daycare situation. Arianna cried all day yesterday, and we kept her out sick today, but I am just terrified that she is not going to settle. I really hope that going to work was not a mistake and that I can make everything work.

I miss being home, and I really miss having friends that I can call and go out for a chat or have tea with. I need to find balance and happiness.

I am really hoping to get a good sleep tonight, I need it!

Awesome Give away + quick life update!

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So it's been a few days since I've posted anything but it's been busy around here lately! I got my old job back, and I started today. I am really happy to be working again, and although I really missed Arianna today, I think this will be excellent for both of us.

Now is the time when my planning and determination to lose weight will really be challenged though, because I will have to plan my lunches and suppers and find the time and energy to fit in workouts. It will be good though and I am happy that I am signed up for bootycamp and the learn to run clinic because now I am more motivated to exercise on these days.

I will post my meals and planning when I have a chance to sit and figure everything out, just to keep me accountable.

Hurts so good

So last night was my second Booty Camp Session, and it was just as intense (if not a bit more) than the first. I realized that there are some things that I have a lot of trouble with, like crab walks, and walking planks. I also have to be a bit more confident in myself especially when working with partners, but that will come with time.

Even though at times my legs were shaking and my lungs felt like exploding, I kept going and I gave it my all. I am hoping to get as much as I can out of this, and hopefully I will be able to sign up again either in the summer or fall, depending on Joey's schedule.



I am loving bootycamp and the feeling I am getting from pushing my self and not giving up!!

Ow My booty!!

So I had my first bootycamp fitness session last night and it rocked!! I have only ever taken one other fitness class with other people before, and that was yoga, so I really wasn't sure what to expect. I have read peoples blog reviews and so from that I knew that I was in for quite a workout, and I must admit that I was terrified! I haven't been exercising regularly for the past couple of months, and I knew that I would be the biggest one there, but I figured I'd check it out and give it 100% after all I am not doing this for anyone but myself.

I was pretty intimidated and nervous when I first got there and everyone was thin and seemed like they were in good shape, I was also the only one there who wasn't with someone that they knew already, but once the class started It didn't matter what else was going on, I focused on the exercises and working as hard as I could.
Some things were harder than others, like burpees, and some things I will definitely have to build up my endurance for, like jogging, bit all in all I really enjoyed my first experience.

As the evening went on I soon discovered that most of the other ladies were in the same boat as me, not knowing what to expect, and knowing that they would definitely be feeling the soreness the next day :P as of right now I love bootycamp and I am so glad that I got picked to experience this 4 week camp.

Now I just need to find the motivation to eat clean so that I can get fit, and healthy and work towards my goal of one day helping others with their weight loss and fitness needs.

Finding Myself

I feel lost. I honestly don't know where to start, I am unhappy with myself and this is affecting my daily life, and my relationship with my husband.
I don't know who I am, or where I belong. I just wish I could be happy and live instead of thinking about everything that I am not, and all of the things that I have done wrong.
I was so happy once......

Drained

I think my interview went ok today.....now it's just a waiting game. I am really hoping to get my job back but I still have some issues that are causing me stress there too.

My eats were ok until this evening, I had some fruit which was good, but then I had some veggie chip things that Joey got at Costco, and they had to be fried. They tasted so good, but I could see and feel the grease...oh well it truly could have been much worse considering the fact that I found out a very close family member has skin cancer, and quite possibly serious Melanoma. I am in the dark as to most of the details, but right now I am feeling sad and stressed and scared about the outcome.
I will be going to bed tonight praying for health and good news.

Lazy Sunday

So today was a write off, I napped instead of exercising and I ordered takeout instead of cooking. I'm not beating myself up over it but I know that my choices could have been much better.

The evening was spent looking at child care places in case tomorrow's interview goes well, hopefully it does because I'm starting to run out of options.
If I do start work again, I'm hoping to find my food motivation again because I will have to plan my lunches, snacks etc ahead of time, but I'll also have to work hard to stay organized and on top of things regarding exercise and suppers. It's all too easy to just grab something after work rather than cooking, but now I have to think about Arianna's diet as well, so that's something.

I am starting bootycamp on thursday, and I am so nervous/excited!! I think I'll try something new every month or so to keep things fresh. so far I have
May- bootycamp
June/July- Learn to run

I feel crazy for signing up for these things at my size, but I obviously need the push that group fitness will give me.

So now I'm getting ready to head to bed and prepare for my interview.....everything is crossed that I get MY job back!

Squeaking by

I'm slowly finding my groove again. I have been eating pretty clean since Monday....not 100% but clean enough to get rid of most of the water weight that I was holding on to. When I weighed myself on Monday I was 322.2 which is a gain of 10 lbs in a month, Yesterday I was 315.4 so I am getting there.

I also did day 1 and 2 of the Jillian Michaels ifit workouts for the treadmill this week. I find them quite challenging at some parts, and I am a sweaty mess after just 20 minutes.

Next week will be kind of exciting/stressful for me because I have a job interview for my old job, Joey goes back to work and I start bootycamp. On top of that, depending on how the interview goes, I may be looking for full time childcare. It will be interesting to see how I handle the stress.

I am hoping to start blogging more regularly and to just become more organized in general.

CheeCha contest

Check out Ali's blog for a chance to win some awesome loot, honestly though I'm gonna win so don't bother entering ;) http://fatbutchanging.blogspot.com/2010/04/free-stuff-friday-thank-you-mario.html

Untitled

So I'm sitting here, feeling sorry for myself about how fat and gross I feel but yet I had 2 sugar packed coolers, chocolate and nachos. I have to get over myself and stop stressing about all of the planning that needs to be done and actually do it.
I'm not going all or nothing with the clean eating and I'm going to learn to cut myself some slack.

Tomorrow I plan on having a healthy breakfast, and then I'm heading to a job interview (eek!!)
lunch will be leftover tuna casserole and salad, and supper is Joey's choice as a welcome home thing, so we are going for Chinese.....not the best choice, but after tomorrow things should settle down a bit.

my exercise plan for the rest of April is Walking with the baby in the stroller, doing Ifit on the treadmill and biggest loser Yoga.
In May I am signed up for the Booty Camp Fitness session, and although it will be killer, I can't wait. I also have a coupon from Brita for a free running room clinic, so I'm going to see if I can sign up for the June learn to run session.

I realize that Joey gets motivated once I get things started and so that means I must get the ball rolling ASAP for both of us!

Sprouted Bread giveaway

Go over and check out Jamie's blog for a chance to win some great swag from Silver Hills.
http://www.embracingbalance.com/

Check out a great Blog

Check out Scott's blog. He is celebrating 6 months of blogging and is such an inspiration.
you can check out his blog and the contest here http://www.yourinnerskinny.ca/2010/04/07/6-month-anniversary-and-giveaway

Happy Belated birthday

well I meant to post about a million times since my birthday on April 2nd but things kept getting in the way.

• I was in Cape Breton for 3 weeks, and Arianna was super sick, and whiny so the exercise and eating wasn't the best. I am up 3-4 lbs which sucks but I'll deal with it.
• Joey is home now, and it seems like I've gone into vacation mode. I am not eating well, I can't remember the last time I've exercised and I have no desire or drive to do anything. Joey and I are notorious for being able to sabotage ourselves really well, but I'm working hard to change things for all of us.

The big thing is I have set a huge goal for myself. I have decided that since this is my last year in my 20's that I am giong to make it my healthiest and fittest year ever. I am hoping to lose 100 lbs by April 2, 2011. I hope I can do this. I usually don't like to set specific goals like this but as long as I give it everything I've got, I won't be disappointed with the results.

So here I am, back to basics. Clean eating, exercise including Cardio and strength, and planning and tracking everything. I have to succeed this time.

It's been a while

I honestly don't know what's wrong with me lately, I just can't keep myself motivated for a second. I'm eating crap that I don't want or need and I'm not exercising like I should be.

The baby has been sick for a while, add in a 39.9 celsius temperature, a trip to ER and night time waking issues and that could explain some of the stress eating. Also I am not home so I don't have access to my workout stuff and the food choices here are not ideal, but these are just excuses. I've been doing this long enough to know that the situation can't always be perfect, and I have to make the best of what I have available. I just wish I had someone to kick me in the butt and help me get my motivation back.

Since I don't have that I'll just keep swimming against the current until I make it. I can and will do this.
I will not be a fat mom, that is a promise.

Super Giveaway

Check out Jaime's blog for a chance to win Crofters Superfruit spread in 4 yummy flavours!!
http://www.embracingbalance.com/

Giveaway

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Rough Week

Just a quick update post, hopefully I'll be back to normal (or as close as I can get ) tomorrow.

I got the spot that I wanted in the daycare, and Arianna really liked it, but I wasn't even considered for the job :( so bye bye daycare.
The week started out with major anxiety waiting for word on the job, and ended with major disappointment about not even being considered for a job that I enjoyed and did really well.

Due to the stress and wacky eating/ hormone shifts etc I am up 1.2 lbs. I am totally ok with that, I am back on track and ran today. Onward and upward.
Hopefully now I'll be able to sleep and get things done, instead of stressing and worrying. I have a to do list the size of my arm and I gotta get working on it!!

night night :)

Boring Sunday

This weekend seemed to crawl by! Of course when you are waiting for something that's what happens. I am still waiting for word on the job and Daycare situation.

I was so anxious on Friday that I thought I would pass out, so I took to the treadmill and ran off some energy. Yesterday was a really snacky day and I just couldn't get full, but I tracked everything and didn't do too badly. I did my exercise in the evening since I needed a nap in the afternoon and that combination meant that I did not get to sleep until 1am *gag*

Today was exercise rest day so I had another nap, hopefully it doesn't mess my sleep up tonight. I know that my mind will be racing anyway until I hear about the job situation, but hopefully I'll get some sleep.

Tomorrow's plan is to run 2 minutes and walk 1, we'll see how it goes.
I'm also going to eat cleaner this week because I have 12lbs to go until I reach my first mini goal of 299 lbs. It's been years since I've seen that number.

lata peeps

Possibilities

So today was an up and down kind of day, I dropped by my old workplace for a visit and found out that my old job is opening up. I was thinking about it and decided to try for the position.
It couldn't be better hours (finished by 3:45 Pm) monday to friday, I know all of the clients, and I enjoyed the work. I feel sad about the possibility of not being a stay at home mom, and I'll miss Arianna like crazy, but in order to provide extras and have some security, I need to work.

I've been in contact with a daycare and I have my fingers crossed that when they call back on Friday I'll have a daycare spot. I just feel like this is meant to be, and I am praying that everything lines up and comes through.

I did my run today, and it felt good, I'm still doing 90 seconds running and 1 min walking but it's getting better. my eating is going well, not fully clean but I'm sticking to my points and measuring things again.
I am so excited that in 6 weeks Joey will be back, it's been a long 4 months!!

I'm off to bed, it's been a hectic day!

Run shirt Give away

Happy Sunday, Check out Syl's blog to win a cute princess running shirt! http://www.livesmilerun.com/2010/02/give-away-fit-for-princess.html

Arianna is still pretty sick so we're taking it easy today. We're not going to make it to the Deployment briefing, but we'll go down and do our video call later. Our time is 6:10 pm so I hope she's not too cranky then.
If she's not better tomorrow, it looks like another trip to the doctor.

Today is my off day for exercise so nothing to report there.
I applied for a couple of jobs lately, so fingers crossed that something comes through!

TTFN,
Jenn